we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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