Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
