I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
