Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
