we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
