I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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