Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
