my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
