We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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