You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
