what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
