I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Alive.
So much puke
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
