Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
