So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
