I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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