so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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