Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
