We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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