Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
