guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
