I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
