I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
