i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
