My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
