you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
