I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
