Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
