Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
