I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
