We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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