Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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