What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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