If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
