Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
