i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
