My first STD was from a foam party
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
