Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
