He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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