Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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