I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
