she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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