my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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