What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
