butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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