I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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