thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
