So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
