How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
