you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
