where am i from again
someone owes me an orgasm
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
