you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
