You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
