Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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