Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
