I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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