giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
