I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so let's talk penis.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
